March 27, 2023
2 Timothy 1:7- For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Cynthia (Cindy) (Moegerle ’86) Reasoner
French/Secondary Education with Teaching English as a Second Language Minor
Last spring I was told our school was merging 6th grade into our middle school program. I was currently teaching 6th English and history, but had previously taught 7th-8th English and logic. I was excited to return to middle school. Then I discovered there were too many English teachers, but not enough history ones. I quickly volunteered to transition to history. It even sounded exciting, until I started studying over the summer and rapidly discovered what a vast project I had tackled. I strongly believe God called me to teach. I believe He provided this opportunity. However, I couldn’t see how I could actually do it and do it well, especially with the fibromyalgia I have battled for nearly 30 years.
This was when the Lord slowly and gently began exposing the different levels of fear I had buried deep down inside of me.
Fear of failure.
Fear of losing my job.
Fear of not being able to learn more material.
Fear of not having energy-physical, mental, emotional-to maintain my job and life.
Fear of being rejected.
Fear of not measuring up.
Fear of being weak.
Fear of not being enough … and on and on.
The cycle was vicious. I started experiencing mild panic attacks and depression which, of course, triggered fear of rejection because of my weaknesses.
At this time the Lord provided an opportunity for me to participate in an online Bible study with a focus on memorizing Scripture to help transform my mind by its renewing instead of conforming to the world’s thought process patterns. Of course, 2 Timothy 1:7 was one of the first verses to memorize. I had studied it before, but it really hit hard this time. God doesn’t give me a spirit of fear. Fear isn’t from Him. It is from the enemy to distract me and even hinder me from fully stepping into what God has called me to do. God has definitely called me to teach. It has been clear to me since I was a child. If God has called me, then He will provide all that’s needed to accomplish His purpose: a sound mind, strength, peace, and so much more. I haven’t fully moved through this learning process, but I am experiencing God calming my spirit and filling me with His peace. He is my strength. It is evident as I call out to Him during the night and day when fear attacks. My God is good and faithful, not just for me, but for each of us. Join me in learning to give Him our fears as they try to enter our thoughts and emotions. Our God is bigger than any fear or anxiety.